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baraskank:

oh my god my dad just went out to walk the dog and he must have got halfway down the street and then he just came back and I was like “what’s the matter” and he just said really quietly “i forgot the dog” and my dog was just siTTING BY THE DOORSTEP WITH HIS LEASH ON LOOKING REALLY SAD kOMFGYOD

(via innervenom)

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bagmilk:

when i die please punch everyone who says “i wish i got to know them better”

(via m0ce)

Source: bagmilk
Chat
  • School: no shoulder-revealing shirts
  • Student: why?
  • School: you might ferociously anal fist each other in the hallway
Source: svvagy
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sharpslut:

seeing someone you know but arent friends with in public is the worst thing ever

(via hediedalongtimeago)

Source: canaydian
Photo Set
Photo Set

marcelines-pet:

of-castles-and-converses:

itsdeepforhappypeople:

Awwwwwww cutie

that awkward moment when deadpool is a better person than you because you would have just stole the pizza and not given a fuck

dead pool isn’t really a villian like, most of his comics  are just being like a slightly mentally challenged selfish 5 year old with an incredibly dirty mind who hits on spiderman all the time and is aware at all times of the forth wall. oh and it is literally impossible to kill him so he gets a bit reckless at times

(via jillianthecabbage)

Source: breakourbones
Photo Set
Photo Set

koizumisato:

pornithologist:

what this made me realise is that helen’s certainty implies that dash and violet were both showing signs of their powers as infants and that is the funniest thing i have ever thought of in my life because one has super speed and one turns invisible can you picture first-time parents trying to deal with a baby that sometimes fucking disappears

   

(via jillianthecabbage)

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fagtree:

so other than that, mrs. lincoln, how was the play

(via jillianthecabbage)

Source: brenthor
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yellfang:

party-at-the-tardis:

shavingryansprivates:

why the fuck is every nursery rhyme about people dying

  • the london bridge is falling down and probably crushing pedestrians
  • ring around the rosie pockets full of posie ashes ashes we all get obliterated by the black plague
  • it’s raining it’s pouring the old man is snoring he bumped his head and fucking died

and fucking died

humpty dumpty committed suicide

jack fell down a hill and cracked his skull

A BABY FELL OUT A TREE

(via jillianthecabbage)

Source: shavingryansprivates